Sunday, March 28, 2010

Most Beautiful Girl

Helloooo there!

When last did you see an ugs pic of a kid? Seriously? And I mean seriously? Even when they’re pulling a weird face they still manage to look adorable. I take pics of myself (and sorry, some of my “mature” friends are going to hate me for this, but them too) and my delete finger is going numb. And I’m having to turn the half way decent ones into sepia or black and white which is a bit more forgiving. That’s why I so enjoyed doing this weeks page of Emma, my sister grand child. Of course, as surrogate granny, I know I’m biased but she just looks so beautiful in EVERY picture. And lets face it, how nice is it to scrap with beautiful pictures.

After a spate of brownish blueish creamyish pages (to accommodate all those sepia shots), I decided this week to go BRIGHT (like me!) and use the latest range of Art From The Heart papers (my current favourite local paper). I’ve attached a pic of the papers – lovely don’t you think? And this time I’ve included ALL my toes in the picture as some people felt cheated last week that there were only a few toes on show.
“Who’s The Most Beautiful Girl In the World” uses quite a few picture (as instructed by Tersia). 13 pictures to be precise. You need:
Either one jumbo landscape or two jumbo portrait.
10 (6.5 x 6.5) pictures (I took 2 up’s – two pictures on one jumbo – and cropped them)
1 jumbo landscape.
It can be of any theme and coloured pictures would work well too.

I don’t suppose anyone’s seen my Becky Higgins Sketches Vol. 1? I so miss it.
I won’t be doing a new page for the week after next but we can play catch up or scrap ‘n chat.

Having said that, I won’t be sending out a newsletter until after the Easter Weekend either so I’d like to wish y’all a wonderful Easter and a blessed Pasach to all my Jewish customers. Remember you’ll pay for all those eggs you eat! Stay safe.
(Psssst: you know I post my newsletter onto my blog? Please feel free to leave a comment on the blog. It’s looking very sad with no comments on it)

Kind regards
Alison

I leave you with a few lines to make you smile:

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
12. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
14. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
15. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
16. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
17. Procrastinate Now!
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Appreciate every single thing you have,
especially your friends...!
Life is too short and friends are too few...!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Howdy Doody
Don’t you think it would be horrid to live in a world without seasons? I find towards the end of summer I’m kind of looking forward to getting snugly and then towards the end of winter, I’m rearing to get out and get a bit sun on my back and colour on my cheeks. So now roll on winter.

Anyhows, I digress: this week’s page is….. ummm, The Page With No Name. You see, I’ve made it up but without pics (hence no title either). I’ve used the Kaiser Craft range (see attached) which is currently one of my fave paper ranges. I think the papers lend themselves towards sepia pics, possibly with a bit of a heritage feel but I don’t see why you can’t use colour and any pics that take your fancy. You will need:
1 A5 landscape (half an A4, 20cm x 15cm)
3 (2up’s, 10cm x 7.5) landscape
1 jumbo – portrait

Workshops are on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday morning 09h30 – 12h30 and Thursday evening 18h00 – 21h00 unless otherwise stated. And still the cheapest workshops in town.

Sadly, I have absolutely no news this week. There is an ancient Chinese curse that goes “May you live in interesting times” so maybe it’s just as well.
When phoning me on my land line, I’d be grateful if you’d use my new Vox line instead: 087 802 9718. It won’t cost you any more than the Telkom line.

I’ll end with this bit of a fun – nothing more enjoyable than an intelligent insult…..

When Insults Had Class ...
Glorious insults from an era when 4 letter words were not used in public!

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
Disraeli: "That depends, Sir, whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde "

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without an address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Take care and happy scrapping!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Home Sweet Home

Hi there ladies
I’m starting to feel a bit of Soccer World Cup buzz around town. I’ve decided to go big: flag attached to my car, Bafana Bafana T-shirt, learn the Diski, miner’s hat with horns – the whole enchilada. I think we’re in for a bit of fun!

So, this week’s page is “Home Sweet Home”. I’ve done this cos I so often think back to my childhood home and wish there were more pictures of it. And sadly, with so many people emigrating, it might be a nice page to put in your kids albums for them to look back on. Or just because, like me, memory fades with age!
The requirements are:
1 A5 landscape – cut to 18.5 x 15 cm
2 (2up’s) portrait – 7.5 x 9.5
1 (2up) landscape – cut to roughly 8.5 x 8.5
4 (4up’s) landscape - 7.5 x 5
(I’ve made a little booklet behind my 2 up landscape so if you wish to do the same you can bring 6 or so extra 2 up’s for this. Also cut to 8.5 x 8.5)
You also need: a sanding block, 3 white brads, 2 orange buttons and brown chalk ink.

Thanks so much to you girls who gave so generously to CANSA. It was so appreciated by the association.

Don’t forget you can still book for Bee’s card class this coming Thursday 18th at the Racing Pigeon Club at 17h30.

Someone seems to have inadvertently walked off with my favourite, most used, most popular punch. It’s the Creative Memories one with the two smaller circles. This punch got used in almost every second workshop so I’d be so grateful to get it back. It clearly has my name on it.
Otherwise, not much in the way of news. Hope to see you some time soon for a little scrapping and some fellowship.

Kind regards

Don’t read this if you don’t wish to but I thought with the World Cup around the corner, it’s a good time to remind ourselves of our rather unique Souf Efriken English!

Understanding South Africans

Braai
What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be invited to when you visit South Africa. A braai is a backyard barbecue and it will take place whatever the weather. So you will have to go even if it's raining like mad. At a braai you will be introduced to a substance known as pap (pronounced “pup”).
Ag
This one of the most useful South African words. Pronounced like the "ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense of resignation: "Ag OK, I'll have some more pap then" It can stand alone too as a signal of irritation.
Donner
A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder). Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." A team member in your rugby team can get “donnered” in a game, or your wife can donner you if you come back from a braai at three in the morning.
Eina
Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah". You can say it in sympathy when you see your friend the day after he got donnered by his wife.
Hey
Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasise the importance of what has just been said, as in "You're going to get donnered if you come in late again, hey?" It can also stand alone as a question. Instead of saying "excuse me?" or "pardon me?" when you have not heard something directed at you, you can always say: "Hey?"
Izit?
This is another great word to use in conversations. Derived from the two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to contribute if someone tells you something at a braai. For instance, if someone would say: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private ownership." It is quite appropriate to respond by saying: "Izit?"
Jawelnofine
This is another conversation fallback. Derived from the four words: ja means"yes"and is pronounced YA, "well", "no" and “fine", it roughly means "OK". If your bank manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can, with confidence, say: "Jawelnofine."
Lekker
An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language groups to express approval. If you enjoyed a braai thoroughly, you can say: "Now that was lekk-errrrrrr!" while drawing out the last syllable.
Klap
Pronounced "klup" - an Afrikaans word meaning smack, whack or spank. If you spend too much time in front of the TV during exam time, you could end up getting a "klap" from your mother. In America , that is called child abuse. In South Africa , it is called promoting education. But to get "lekker geklap" is to get motherlessly drunk.
Bakkie
This word is pronounced "bucky" and can refer to a small truck or pick-up. If a young man takes his "girl" (date) in a bakkie it could be considered as a not so "lekker" form of transport if the seats can't recline.
Tackies
These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe automobile or truck tyres. "Fat tackies" are really wide tyres, as in: "You've got lekker fat tackies on your bakkie, hey?"
Dop
Pronounced “dorp” this word has two basic meanings, one good and one bad. First the good: A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner. When invited for a dop, be careful! It could be one sedate drink or a blast, depending on the company. Now the bad: To dop is to fail. If you "dopped" standard two (Grade 4) more than once, you probably won't be reading this.
Saamie
This is a sandwich. For generations, school- children have traded "saamies" during lunch breaks. In South Africa you don't send your kid to school with polony saamies. They are impossible to trade.
Howzit
This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this word throughout the country. It is often accompanied with the word "Yes!" as in: "Yes, howzit?". In which case you answer "No, fine."
Now now
In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase: "Now now, it's really not so bad." But in South Africa , this phrase is used in the following manner: "Just wait, I'll be there now now." It means: soon.
Just now
This means “in a while” South Africans know the clear distinction of now now and just now but it’s almost impossible to impart this knowledge exactly without being one yourself.
So long
So long does not necessarily mean “good-bye” in South Africa - even though it can be used as good-bye when in context. When we go to restaurants, we often tell the waiter that we will order starters so long and mains after that, so long means “in the meantime”
Tune grief
To be tuned grief is to be aggravated, harassed. For example, if you argue with somebody about a rugby game at a braai and the person had too much dop (is a little "geklap"), he might easily get aggravated and say.: "You're tuning me grief, hey!" To continue the argument after this could be unwise and result in major tuning of grief..
Boet
This is an Afrikaans word meaning "brother" which is shared by all language groups. Pronounced "boot" but shorter, as in "foot", it can be applied to a brother or any person of the male sex. For instance a father can call his son "boet" and friends can apply the term to each other too. Sometimes the diminutive "boetie" is used. But don't use it on someone you hardly know - it will be thought patronizing and could lead to you getting a "lekker klap".
Skop, Skiet en donner
Literally "kick, shoot and thunder", this phrase is used by many South African speakers to describe action movies. A Clint Eastwood movie is always a good choice if you're in the mood for of a lekker skop, skiet en donner flick.
Vrot
Pronounced - "frot". A expressive word which means "rotten" or "putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe anything they really dislike. Most commonly intended to describe fruit or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired, but a pair of old tackies (sneakers) worn a few years too long can be termed "vrot" by some unfortunate folk which find themselves in the same vicinity as the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important kicks or tackles can be said to have played a vrot game - opposite to a "lekker" game(but not to his face). A movie was once reviewed with this headline: "Slick Flick, Vrot Plot."
Could also be used as an expression" I got vrot last night" (drunk)
Scale
To scale something is to steal it. A person who is "scaly" has a doubtful character, is possibly a scumbag, and should rather be left off the invitation list to your next braai.
Ja-nee
"Yes No" in English. Politics in South Africa has always been associated with family arguments and in some cases even with physical fights. It is believed that this expression originated with a family member who didn't want to get a klap or get donnerred, so he just every now and then muttered "ja-nee". Use it when you are required to respond, but would rather not choose to agree or disagree.
So, there you have it - South Africanisms 101!

Monday, March 1, 2010

1st Week of March

Hi there girls
Well that’s my mosaic course over with and what a course it was! I did it with Jane du Rand who has to be SA’s foremost mosaic artist - such a stunning and knowlegible lady. And just so generous with her knowledge. Anyway, I learned LOADS and am all fired up to go mosaic ballistic! I’ll put a few pics on my blog.

This week’s page requires:
2 jumbo landscape
1 jumbo portrait
3 (2 ups) landscape
2 (4 ups) portrait.
The paper is the new Kaiser Craft range in stunning blues and browns so sepia pics would look fabulous. It has a number of flowers on so perhaps don’t bring pics of your husband doing the Duzi.
Lots of other really nice papers are in so do pop in for a peek. Some more papers have been tossed into the R3.00 sale basket.

For those of you who missed Bee’s Card Class….. sorry for you! It sure was a fun evening. But stop, don’t weep – there’s another one on Thursday 18th. It’s such a great way to use up all your old paper and embellishment scraps, is very therapeutic and there is nothing quite like giving someone a beautiful home made card (I personally don’t give a toss if they then toss it). And Bee really does have some great card making ideas. Why not join us on Thursday 18th at the Pigeon Racing Club at 17h30? You can email Bee directly on bee.hellerle@gmail.com.

Don’t forget we have Greyville to look forward to this month. 11th – 13th. They seem to have attracted a few new stands so hopefully it won’t be too much of the same old same old.

For those of you who have and are still so kindly going to make a donation to CANSA or purchase a Luminaria Bag – I omitted to mention that when doing a deposit, under reference please put “LUM 00748”. This is such a worthy course so please dig deep into your pockets and do consider joining in the festivities on Saturday 13th.

That’s my bundle for this week…. All that’s left to say is……..
I’m too blessed to be stressed. Too anointed to be disappointed.
Take care and happy scrapping
Kind regards
Alison