Wednesday, March 14, 2012

So Loved

Hi gals
So sorry for the lateness of my newsletter but my husband has left me for another woman leaving me to contend with the B&B all on my lonesome, plus keep on top of the scrapping plus deal with that deluge Irina dumped upon our heads all weekend……. So between serving breakfasts, trying to dry laundry, keep things clean, service rooms (domestics daughter has been sick through all this of course) shopping etc, scrapping has taken a bit of a back seat. In fact, I’m so late with the news and layout that I’m not sure if it should be this week or next week’s page. I’ll see how things go……
(I should perhaps clarify that my husband has left me for his mother and I’m hoping it’s only for 3 weeks)

This week’s page is So Loved and is inspired by a layout by Lauren from my scrappers club.
Lovely subtle paper G C D Studio paper which works fabulously with black and white pics. Pics I used:
1 x A4 portrait (did it at Whysalls for R25.00 – very efficient they were too)
2 x jumbo landscape
2 x {2up} landscape {one of which got cropped)
4 x {4up} portrait
As the title suggests, it can be of anything So Loved – child, parent, pet, handbag collection….
Cost if R125.00

We’re having an evening class this Thursday at 6pm. If you feel the need for a little chillax, do come and join us.

Remember I suggested that I buy new craft mats (mine are SO poked now) and that if you like, you can purchase one, mark it with your name and keep it here at the studio so you don’t have to keep remembering to bring a mat? Well, I have lovely PINK mats in @ R69.50. Let me know if you’d like one.
Also in:
Clear alpha stamps at a VERY good price: R42.50. So handy to have in your stash of scrappin’ goodies.
Lovely packs of flowers (100 in a pack) – white, black or gray.
Gorgeous brads / Tombo glue – at last!! / double sided tape / Stanley knives – R9.50
And some gorgeous new papers – can’t WAIT to get going on those layouts.

Don’t forget Greyville 29 / 30 / 31 of this month. I’ve got forms here if you’d like to book.

A very happy birthday to Leesh who has a birthday today and AnnMarie for the 2nd . Blessings to you both.

That’s my bundle for now. Must dash….rooms to clean……

I’ll end with these supposed writings in medical records from a hospital in Mpumalanga. (I did chuckle at the first one)

1. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
Must be big …… I presume

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
You sure?

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
Damn racist blood cells!!!! Why didn’t they just come along??? Those whities….

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only 11kgs weight gain in the past three days.
Wacky Wednesdays at Steers…. Some people just can’t say no.

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
Can you ask for more?

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
Gotta move sometime you know?

7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. Hau???

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. Nooit china!!!!!!!!!

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Makes you think huh!!!!

10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission. Better go now before I change my mind……Go Go Go!!!!!!

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Balanced diet….. soooo important!!!!

13. She is numb from her toes down.
Some people have very low places

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
With or without pay?

15. The skin was moist and dry.
Before or after the Vaseline intensive care?

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
3 marks for the use of adjectives

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Maybe a bit slow????

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
So what’s the problem?

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. What a problem solving solution?
Let me guess…. She also lost a lot of weight with the divorce? About a 100kg and it’s now referred to as ex husband?

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Please ask them to check the gearbox oil while they’re there?

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. What do you mean they don’t like the dark outdoors?

22. The patient refused autopsy.
Let me guess…… They said “over my dead body” ?

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
Common problem, move on and get closure.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
Skin: That’s it, no more leave or sick leave for you…. You hear?

25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Please evacuate the area in an orderly manner and phone hazmat.

26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
Isn’t that enough?

Friday, January 20, 2012

Christmas Two

Oh my oh my! How have I neglected my little blog so? I've been forgetting to put my newsletter on. Anyhoo.... here's the latest......

Shucks but these weeks fly by! I feel like a hamster on a treadmill (or whatever that thingy is in their cage)

So, as I mentioned last week, I've done another Christmas page - although sans pictures (I had more Moscow Mules than turkey on Christmas day so there is something of a dearth of pics) I used:
1 x {15 x 20} landscape
1 x jumbo portrait
1 x {2up} landscape
2 x {4up} landscape
1 x (4up} portrait.
The girls who've seen the page already were rather rude about my little title which I admit you need a microscope to see, still, I like it. Feel free to put a gaudy big fat title on your page is you feel so inclined.
And don't worry, I'm kind of over this paper piecing lark for now after that rush of blood to my head.

For you Cardies - don't forget our first card class of 2012 next Thursday 26th at 17:30 right here at SBJ. Feel free to bring a tipple of wine if you like.

Do any of you own a Carl Trimmer? If so, I uncovered a stash of replacement blades when I was spring-cleaning and I'm offering them @ R25.00 instead of R64.00.

I'm off to buy albums, glue, paper blah blah on Monday so let me know if there is anything you particularly need.

I'm afraid I won't be able to do scrapbooking classes on a Tuesday mornings anymore but am happy to do a Monday if that's the only day you can make. So therefore classes will be Monday / Wednesday / Thursday and evenings on demand.

I do hope the following example of Two Sides to Every Story doesn't offend anyone (bit rough in parts) but I confess to a little chuckle.

WOMEN - Two female friends are catching up:

So, how was your evening last night?

A disaster! After getting home, my dear beloved hubby wolfed down in 4 minutes the dinner that took me all afternoon to prepare, "granted" me 3 minutes of passionate love before rolling over and falling asleep 2 minutes later. And you?

Oh, mine was incredible. My hubby was waiting for me to get back home from work. He took me out for a very romantic dinner. We then walked back home, under an amazing stary sky, along the canal, for a good two hours. Once home, he lit up all the candles and we had foreplay which lasted for an hour. We then make love for another hour and then we chatted until late. It was wonderful....

MEN - Meanwhile, at the pub, the husbands are "networking"

So, how was your evening last night?

Great! When I came home, the food was ready. I ate, we shagged and I fell asleep.

A nightmare! I came home earlier to fix the kitchen shelf. When I switched on the power drill, the fuse went out. The whole house went into darkness. Couldn't find the bloody fuse box, so when my better half arrived, I took her out. It was the only thing to do to avoid getting an ear-full. The dinner was so expensive that I couldn't afford the taxi back home, so we had to walk home. Once there, the house was still in the dark, obviously, so I had to light all these f..king canles to avoid knocking everything down. I was so wound up that it took me an hour to get a hard on, and another one to finish. In the end, I was so pissed off that it took me ages to fall asleep, while she kept yapping on and on about everything and nothing.

Take care and hope to see you scrapping some time soon.
Alison xxx