Moo

Well Hello There!
I’m still smarting at the fact that same bleeding octopus predicted all the soccer winners whilst I predicted precisely none! Every team that I supported, without exception, lost. I care not if that cephalopod lands up in some paella. Wasn’t that World Cup all together something else? I kind of feel like we all learned something about ourselves and our country from it. Made me mighty proud to be South African. Lets all do our bit to keep the flag flying.

Now, next weeks page – “Moo” (my name for my mom) – is a bit, er, pink. And I do mean PINK as in In. Your. Face. Pink. to be precise. But I have to say not a girly girl pink but rather a mad funky pink. Which means really it could be of any old subject. If you don’t have anything that would go with Crazy Pink, it would look really great with black and white pics.
You need:
2 jumbo pictures landscape
1 jumbo picture portrait
2 x (2 up) landscape
1 jumbo that can be circled.

I know by now you’re thinking that soccer page is not going to happen in your lifetime, but I assure you it’s on its way. Please be patient, your page will appear.

Next week’s evening class is on Tuesday 20th. Please be sure to book.
Last weeks page proved ever so popular – to the point that that kit is now totally sold out.

So this past Wednesday, whilst working our way through a basket of cheese muffins, we made that as old as Eve decision: Let’s go on DIET! But this time we’ll be clever and run it with a support group, much like the AA. Our fist meeting is next Wednesday just before class commences and will go something like….”Hi. My name is Alison. I’m a fatty”. “Hi Alison” – no judgement, no asking personal questions like your panty size, just love and support. We’ve even adopted their prayer (albeit a bit modified). “God grant me the serenity to accept that some things are just too high cal to make their way into my body, the courage to toss the double choc mousse cake in the bin and the wisdom to know the difference between a carrot stick and a glazed doughnut.” Feel free to join us even if it’s just via email or Facebook. Summer is looming on the horizon.

Well now, that sadly (or perhaps happily) seems to be my bundle for this week. I don’t even have any exciting new stock in or anything interesting to pass on. So until next week, I bid you….
Adieu
Alison

Read on for a little giggle if you like…..

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in R20, even though it's only for R32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit theywant change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay R2 for a R1 item he needs. A woman will pay R1 for a R2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shavingcream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Woolies. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items..
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favouritefoods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.