Friday, July 30, 2010

No Page

Howdy Doody

Don’t ask me where this week went as I have absolutely no idea. Now, I confess – there is no new layout for next week. My bad. I just kind of lost my scrapping mojo this week and even found myself feeling slightly billious whenever I looked at all these colourful sheets of paper around me and bits of scrapping garnish.

However, the good news is that my soccer goodies for the World Cup 2010 page has finally arrived and I found myself looking at it all with something close to affection. So my plan is that I will devote a good part of my weekend to creating something lovely for the following week.
In the meantime, I know there are loads of you who are behind with workshops so I thought this would be a great time to play catch up. Or bring that box of unfinished pages in. And remember girls: NO MORE MUNCHIES during the workshops. You will be frisked on arrival and the sniffer dog will be on hand to ensure you are carrying nothing more than carrot sticks and low fat cottage cheese on your person.

Diarise: Scrapkits will be holding another Megacrop at Sicas on Saturday 13 November. I’ll send more details as and when I receive them. Lovely day out and Tracy never fails to deliver lovely layouts.

This week’s evening class will be on Tuesday 3rd. Be sure to book.
Just to recap: Classes are on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday morning from 09h30 – 12h30 (or thereabouts) and alternate Tuesday and Thursday evening from 18h00 – 21h00 (roughly)

That’s all for this week.
Have a grand weekend and hope to see you all some time soon.
Best regards

I’ll end with this letter which really did make me chuckle…..

This is an "actual letter" from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine's 2009 Editors' Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'

Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f@cking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'. Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh!t. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . ...
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

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