Embrace Life

Hello again!
Well, here I am back from wondering the hills and dales of the British Isles. Had a marvelous time catching up with family and friends although not in the best of weather. Poor things, I now understand their slight obsession with that little yellow orb. I will be writing to the tourism board about a small problem I encountered: all my clothes seem to have shrunk. I can only assume it’s something in their water. And bizarrely, it seems to have even affected even those clothes that where left behind in my cupboard.

Anyhows, after a lovely break from scrapping (very welcome, I confess); I’m ready to resume some serious scrappin’ action. This week’s page is Embrace Life using the Bo Bunny Ad Lib papers – nice bright primary colours. Pics used:
1 jumbo – portrait
2 {2up} – landscape
9 {9up} – 5 landscape / 4 portrait.
Can be of any theme really.
Classes are back on track with immediate effect so please do book – I’d so love to catch up with you all. Kit price is R125.00.
Just to avoid any confusion: when I say 9 {9up}, I mean nine pictures in total, not 9 x 9 {9up} (ie 81 pics!!) if you get my drift.

Evening classes will start from next week on Thursday 14th.
With regards our Soup & Slippers card making day, I’m going to do one in the holidays and one outside of the holidays to suit everyone.
So the first one will be on Wednesday 13th (which falls inside the school holidays) from 09h30 – 16h00 with a break for soup at 13h00 {and moenie worry nie, this time I’ll get Phil to make the soup!)
The idea of these days is for us to take all out gorgeous scraps of patterned paper and turn them into lovely little (or big) cards that you can give out throughout the year. I’m going to be demo’ing 3 cards so that it’s a little bit more structured than last year and then we can just sit and play. I now have such a fabulous range of Nestabilities and Cuttlebug embossing folders that we can have hours of fun. Plus loads of gorgeous stamps. Space unfortunately is limited so please do book early for this.
I’m soon going to be doing the rounds looking for some great stock…… watch this space.

Once again Tracy Shimper and Vanessa Mathews will be doing their Hillcrest Primary School Fundraiser. Do support them if you can – such a worthy cause too, knowing that you’re contributing to these little cherubs knowing which is the right side up of a pencil by the time they leave school.

That all my news for now while I gently ease my way back into reality. Hope to see you all some time soon.

Here’s a little chuckle……
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!' The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead... Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church.... But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

Playing with Philip

Hi there girls

So, I trust you all made your X for a better and brighter South Africa…… one day our ship might come in {no harm in dreaming}. I must say my voting experience was a doddle – walked in and out with just a dirty finger nail to show for my efforts. I hope this doesn’t mean good citizens where not voting!

Anyhows…. you’re either going to like this week’s page – Playing with Philip - or it’s going to leave you cold. The paper is all sepia-ish (is there such a word?) and the pics themselves are in sepia so you might find it all together too dull for your taste. The pics I used where:
2 jumbo – 1 portrait, 1 landscape
1 {2up} landscape
1 {2up} portrait
7 {4up} portraits
There was also meant to be 1 x {4up} landscape but I printed the wrong pic so feel free to add one yourself.
Can be of absolutely any theme you like.

Evening class will be on Thursday 26th by request. Do book for a fun evening.
Be warned: there is a page coming up on……ME!! {well, no you obviously don’t have to scrap me but yourself – and I know how much some of you hate that idea. In which case you may then scrap me if you prefer).
I’m busy working on my heritage page as we speak and it’s going to have masses of journaling. I’ve done it in the form of Q&A so will send the questions off to you well before the class.

A very happy birthday to Lauretta who has a birthday today {Saturday}. Happy day lovely lady.
As you may know, I’m off to the UK for 3 weeks on the 8th June for a little travel therapy. I’ll probably shut shop but my mom will be here so you would be welcome to come along to purchase stock if you need to. I could even organise a few scrap ‘n chats if you like……
Chalk inks are finally in!

That’s my bundle for this week……

I’ve become rather mindful of my health recently {it’s an age thing I guess} and would encourage you all do regular health checks. Here’s a bit of advice for preparing yourself for your annual mammogram……..

Mammograms
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough..

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

AND, just a thought for all the women out there...
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause....
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?...And
When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!

Happy scrapping!!
Warm regards

Picture Perfect

Hi gals
Seriously, how does a day that starts with such promise descend into chaos and tears in a matter of minutes? See, what happened was that I was minding my own business, scrapping up a storm when that Adele song “Could Have Had it All” came on. Now, I don’t know about you but that song always makes me want to dance. With vigour. Which is what I did. Stupidly not taking into account the cup of tea perched perilously close to the page I was working on and my lack of co-ordination in the dancing department. And yes, you guessed it: tea ALL over the new page, the desk, into my mosaic squares, class notes….. I tried to mop it all up though my tears but I’m afraid the damage is done. I’ll have to re-do the whole right hand side of the one page. The rest will just have to remain damaged and slightly tea stained.
I find it ironic that I’m always going on about you all drinking at the table and yet, to date, I’m the only one who has EVER knocked anything over. I still cringe at the red wine all over Ash’s page.

Still, no use crying over spilled….er….tea.
Next week’s page is Picture Perfect. Pics I used were
1 x {18 x 13} landscape
3 x jumbo landscape {of which I cut 2 cm off vertically and 1 cm horizontally}
6 x {4 up} landscape.
I used the lovely Stella Rose range {which I’ve discovered is highly moisture absorbent!). Layout can be of any theme you like.
{I’ll send the page out as soon as I’ve done a repair job on it – hopefully some time tomorrow}

Green tombo is back in stock and I should have those evasive chalk inks in some time next week.

Next week’s evening class is……um, you tell me. I’ve lost track of what night it should be so if any of you want to scrap, drop me a line and we’ll arrange it.

This has been raised before but girls really, I just cannot hang on to unpaid kits for months {especially when I have people begging to buy them}. I really don’t mind you leaving them here to infinity if they’re paid for but I’m afraid in order to keep the stock fresh and exciting {and coming in}, I need the cash flow.

Doesn’t seem to be much news in the happy world of scrapping so I’ll keep things short and sweet this week.
Take care and hope to see you soon.
Regards
Alison

I’ll end with the sweet innocence of youth…….

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across
the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling
children, hid his smile behind his hand.

"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?"

"Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark."

"How about transportation?" the father asked.

"I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered.

The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know."

"We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied.
"We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"

Family Life

Howdy Doody!! (although when I did spell check it suggested I use Dodgy – so Howdy Dodgy if you prefer) I've been forgetting to post my newsletter onto my blog since January!! Ooops.... my bad. Anyhows..... I went up to Jo’burg last weekend (and what a fun weekend it was!) to attend the Tim Holtz Scrapping Day at Emperor’s Palace. I’ve returned armed with a fabulous wealth of knowledge about inks, distressing, spritzing, using Grunge board etc which I’m dying to pass on to all of you (and not at the R1 7000.00 I paid to garner this knowledge!!). He is a marvelous teacher and has really encouraged me to think out of my staid little box. I’ve always sadly been one of those unimaginative people who usually uses stuff in its natural form and he’s made me think out the box and try and engage more in an “altered” way of scrapping. So look out for some fab layouts using distressing inks, masks, pearls etc. Talking about Jo’burg – boy did I salivate at all the stunning stock up there! I’ve come back with a great dent in my credit card and some really divine papers which I’m busy packing into kits as we speak: Stella Rose, Bo Bunny, Echo Park to name a few. (Is it just me or do you sometimes see a really gorgeous piece of paper and get the urge to lick it?). I think they spray those shops with some kind of “buy gas” because by the time I walked out I had bought a whole bunch of stuff for us to use in the workshops, non of which I was aware of until I checked my credit card statement – lovely new nestabilities, Martha Stewart border punches, stamps, corner chompers etc. It’s really quite frightening. What if I’d been in a jewelry shop? I spent the whole of Monday flat on my back recovering from Post Purchasing Remorse. Still, I’m dying to use it all. I also stocked up on Tombo glue, double sided tape; click ‘n stick, sanding blocks, edge scrappers etc. Next week’s page is “Family Life” – I just LOVE the paper {Stella Rose}. You need: 1 jumbo landscape 3 x (2 up) landscape (2 pics printed onto one jumbo) 2 x (4 up) portrait (4 pics printed onto one jumbo) Just to clear something up – when I say 3 x (2up) I mean 3 actual pictures, not 3 x 2 pictures printed onto one jumbo making 6 photo’s in all if you know what I mean. As the title suggests, you need to bring pics depicting family life - could be just about any scenario. Sorry I don’t have pics on mine yet …..running around like a shot cat….chasing my tale…..stress, stress, stress…. I’m going to be designing a whole range of heritage pages using the Tim Holtz’s (my new love) idea-ology paper which is going to require a lot of facts and figures. Please do start looking though your old photos of mom, dad, grandparents etc – they are going to be very meaningful pages. Next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 14th at 18h00 – do join us for a fun filled scrapping evening. Now, as you know I am the proud owner of both the Cricut and Silhouette digital craft cutters – both of which have sat her gathering a nice bit of mould and dust over the years (the Silhouette is still to be plugged in). Truth be told, they kind of scare me but I’ve decided that this month I’m going to sit down and master them both. This hopefully will open up a whole world of new fonts and designs to incorporate on our layouts. Watch this space. Early warning: The SA International Scrapbook Convention at Emperor’s Palace will be on the 10 & 11th September @ R2795.00 per delegate. Don’t know who the teachers will be at this stage but will keep you informed. Start saving now if you’re keen to go. That’s about my bundle for this week. Have a happy scrapping week. I’ll end with a few of those quotes that I so love………. When I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' -Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' - Eleanor Roosevelt Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible - George Burns Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield Money can't buy you happiness. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out or spread out. - Phyllis Diller By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal And the cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out. May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more and may nothing but happiness come through your door. Cheers! Alison.

Suprise Layout

Howdy Girls
I don’t know about you but I’m having a lot of trouble trying to jump start myself into 2011. It’s the 15th and I still feel in holiday mode. So much so that I’ve still not done next week’s page. I’m hoping to do it this weekend after which I’ll then send out the requirements. (I’ve called it the Surprise Layout as I’m expecting it to surprise even me!)

So, as much as I’ll like to carry on in this kick back fashion, reality calls so from Monday we’ll be right back to our normal scrapping week. Just to remind you:
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday morning: 09h30 – 12h30
Tuesday 18th: 18h00 – 21h00 (the following week’s evening class will be on Thursday.)

I’ll also be placing orders for all the out of order items like Tombo, double sided tape, some nice new papers etc.

That’s really about it. Lovely to see so many of you back scrapping last week and I look forward to seeing more of you all in 2011. No reason, but I have a good feeling about this year…..

Now, I really hate to be a scare monger but I encourage you all to share my horrible horrible experience with all your girlfriends – let it serve as a dire warning:

You’ve all heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves?
Well, my thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else’s thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I’d have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary – my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee!! Those “plastic” surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts – stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something lifted, look again – was it lifted from you? THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere, every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
PS. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits while I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
I thought this was too important not to pass on. Have a wonderful day – with a joy filled heart. And always remember to laugh! Helps the heart AND the wrinkles!!
PPS – those same thieves come into my closed and shrink my clothes! How do they DO it????

Take care

Such Prettiness

Hi there girls

You know I’m always going on and on {ad nauseum} about journaling? Well I was chatting to Janine the other day and she put is so succinctly. She said – “the photos are the heart of your page but the journaling is the soul”. I could not possibly have put it better myself. So there, think about that next time you do a page with no soul.

This week’s page is a layout {Such Prettiness} by Mandy from Crafts From Our Heart and is a very pretty girly page using lovely papers from Art From The Heart (so much of heartiness going on!).
Picture requirements:
8 x [8.5 x 8.5]
1 jumbo portrait or landscape
Then there is a “secret pocket” where you could add an additional 5 x [6.5 x 6.5] pics or a combination of private journaling and pics.
Now fear not if you only have testosterone fuelled stinky boys or wish to do a page on your bonsai – we can always McGyver the paper to fit the theme.

Just a reminder: I’m open tomorrow {Saturday} if you feel like scrapping or just popping in for a cuppa.
I’m afraid next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 28th at 18h00 and not Tuesday as my not-to-be-missed bookclub has been moved. Do pop along for a little scrappy time. I’m afraid I’ve had to ban wine glasses from the table as some ham fisted moron has TWICE now spilled both red and white wine over some poor unsuspecting crafters page (that moron being me of course).
Next Thursday I have a vitally important meeting to attend at 12h00 so if you’re scrapping, could you come a leeetle earlier so we can finish earlier? I’d be so grateful. (Actually, I’m bound to be caught out so let me confess that the “important meeting” is a Sex and the City lunch at Mohemia. Sue me)

The new Cosmo Cricket papers have arrived – bright and cheerful they are too. Then also just arrived: tote bags (oh yes!), metal rulers (3 sizes), self healing mats, bamboo folders (stunning price), one hole punches, glitter, buttons and flowers. And the most noo noo 6x6 paper packs absolutely perfect for card making (a steal @ R32.00 for 50 pages!).

A very happy birthday to Miz Linda Hutton who {I do SO hate to use the f-word in a family newsletter} turns FORTY on Friday! Fabulous at Forty I might add. Have a great day Linda.

Other than that, not much to report.
Have a splendid weekend, whether you’re supporting Animal Anti Cruelty or CANSA (or neither).
Ciao for now
Alison

I’ll end with a few things we learn as we trundle through life (I totally agree with 3. and disagree with 11!)

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people tomake a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. ! Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Sink or Swim. That's life.

Hi Girls

I’m a bit early with the newsletter this week. That’s because I’ve got masses to do but know where my priorities lie (with you!) so thought I’d get next week’s page out my way FIRST.

Oh I do so love a bit of colour blocking which is why I’ve incorporated into next week’s layout - “Sink or Swim. That’s Life”. Such a great way to use up lots of pics.
What I used was:
4 jumbo landscape – cropped to 11 x 9.5 cm
1 jumbo cut into a circle
Then I printed about 10 x 2 up’s i.e. 5 jumbo in total all of which got cropped down to various sizes.
You could also use jumbos with small subject matter and use the one jumbo in more than one block if you know what I mean.
I used the Fab Scraps Shabby Chic range but I’ve attached pics of the Hippy Chic and Urban Chic ranges which would work well as an alternative.
Please let me know if you’d like me to put a kit aside for you.

Next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 21st. 18h00 – 21h00. Don’t forget to book.

A very happy birthday to Monica for Saturday 23rd. Have a great day Mon.

Please don’t forget the Line Dance Marathon Fundraiser on Saturday 23rd at uShaka in aid of Animal Anti Cruelty. Such a worthy cause and they badly need your support. You can pop along and watch us dancing all for the price of a packet of dry dog or cat food.
I know this clashes with Scrapping 4 CANSA day in Toti I’ve just sent you but do try and attend one or the other.
I sometime think we forget how truly rich and blessed our lives are. It’s nice to spread it around a bit.
Oh, I wanted to mention: I get loads of feedback from my newsletter but no one ever comments on my blog (which is the same newsletter). Please do, it looks like such a lonely unread and unloved site!
That’s my bit for this week. Have a dandy weekend.
Kind regards
Alison

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Love the ones who don't just because you can.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it.